


Cancer?

by ShamelessFan430



Category: Shameless (US), gallavich - Fandom
Genre: Cancer, Domestic Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Happy Ending, Hurt Ian, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher Loves Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Mickey Uses His Words, Mickey is sick, Sad Ian, Sad Mickey, Sick Mickey, Worried Ian, Worried Mickey, happy ending gallavich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-11-22 07:37:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 11,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11375598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShamelessFan430/pseuds/ShamelessFan430
Summary: Mickey is really sick with bronchitis... or so he thinks?





	1. Chapter 1

“Come on Mick, get out of bed” Ian yelled as he threw the covers off of Mickey.  
“Fuck off” Mickey practically whimpered as he grabbed for the sheets.  
“All you do is sleep these days” Ian defensively replied as he threw the sheets off Mickey once more.  
Mickey finally sat up in bed as he rubbed his eyes, realizing he wasn’t going to win this argument with Ian.  
Once Mickey sat up he started to cough as he reached for his cigarettes on the nightstand, Ian slapped them out of his hand.  
“The fuck man” Mickey groaned obviously annoyed.  
“You said you wouldn’t smoke until the doctor cleared your bronchitis” Ian looked angry as he furrowed his brow. 

“Yeah, and he’s supposed to do that today” Mickey moaned as he searched the ground for the cigarettes.  
“You don’t know that yet” Ian practically shouted back defensively “you still sound pretty bad.”  
“Speaking of, go shower so we can go” Ian rolled his eyes as he walked out of the room.

Mickey forced himself to get out of bed as he rubbed his sore chest with the palm of his rough hand “fucking antibiotics didn’t do shit” Mickey mumbled as he got undressed to take a shower. 

Ian heard a thud after a few minutes and ran into the bathroom, pulling back the curtain he saw Mickey trying to get up from the shower floor.  
“I fucking slipped” Mickey wheezed as he held his chest tightly.  
“Fuck Mick” Ian whispered, wondering if this was more than just bronchitis. 

-Moments later-

Ian helped a sore Mickey into the car so they could head toward the doctors office.  
Mickey sat in silence as he thought about all the times he had gotten bronchitis in the past year, “this times different” Mickey mumbled as they pulled up to the doctors office.  
Ian looked curious and confused “What is?”  
“I don’t think this is bronchitis, I’ve had it four times this entire year and this time I feel like I’m fucking dying man” Mickey looked worried, and Mickey was never worried so this sent Ian into panic mode.  
“What the fuck do you mean? Mickey, are you scared? Don’t tell me you’re scared” Ian was trying to catch his breath, he didn’t want to scare Mickey any more than he might be but he couldn’t help but freak out.  
Mickey just let out a small chuckle before opening the door to the car “Ian, calm down. It’s probably a respiratory infection or something.”  
“Oh my god” Ian mumbled as he quickly shuffled out of the car to help Mickey walk inside the building. 

As the pair sat in the waiting room it felt like forever before Mickeys name was called.  
When Mickey got to the back they weighed him and the doctor looked concerned which obviously alarmed Mickey “what’s wrong?”  
“Well, you seem to have lost three pounds since last Tuesday Mr. Milkovich, let’s have a seat in this next room and I’ll be with you shortly.” 

Ian helped Mickey get his sore body onto the exam table.  
Ian was trying not to look at Mickey with pity because he was starting to realize Mickey looked worried.  
Once Mickey realized Ian wasn’t looking at him he called out “Hey.”  
Ian looked up automatically “yeah?”  
“It’s okay, I promise” Mickey winked before the doctor came back into the room, this time with a nurse. 

“Mr. Milkovich this is Rachel, she’s going to help us out today.”  
Mickey just nodded as the nurse took a stethoscope to his chest and made notes as she whispered with the doctor.  
“ So, we want to go ahead and give you a CT scan today, just to make sure some progress is being done with your lungs because it doesn’t sound to good” the doctor phrased calmly.  
Mickey and Ian locked eyes as Mickey nodded.  
The nurse handed Mickey a gown and Ian kissed Mickey goodbye as he was ushered quickly out of the room.


	2. “I don’t want to die”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey gets a diagnosis he doesn't want....

As Ian waited in the waiting room he had so many thought going through his head, he was scared to know what Mickey was thinking, he didn’t know why the nurse and doctor looked so scared, despite their calm voices.  
Ian wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans as he tried to stay distracted with the magazines in the waiting room.

Meanwhile, Mickey was in a room he had never seen before, feeling half naked in the horrid hospital gown that was given to him.  
“Okay Mr. Milkovich” the nurse started speaking but Mickey interrupted her “call me Mickey.”  
The nurse slightly smiled “okay Mickey, what we need you to do is stay lying down on this table, we are going to put you inside of that machine there that looks like a doughnut.”

All Mickey could do is nod, he was speechless.  
“You have to stay motionless for me so that way we can accurately get the correct results.”  
Again, Mickey just nodded as he tried to hold back tears. 

After what felt like forever, Mickey was given his regular clothes back and he was sent back into the room he was previously in.  
Mickey mumbled “Can my husband come back here now?”  
“Yes, I’ll go get him” the nurse responded as she shut the door to go get Ian. 

The second Ian walked through the door Mickey lost it, he started crying so hard that he was coughing and couldn’t breathe.  
Ian looked scared as he held Mickeys head to his chest “Baby, what happened?”  
“She looked at me with those sad eyes, the eyes you look at someone with when…” Mickey burst into tears again as he started coughing again, this time covering his mouth.  
Ian wiped Mickeys tears as he looked down at Mickeys hand “Mickey, why are you bleeding?”  
Mickey looked down “what the fuck, I just coughed that out.”  
Ian and Mickey both looked down at Mickeys hand, it had small splotches of blood on it, enough to be noticeable, not that, that mattered.  
You obviously shouldn’t be coughing up blood. 

Now the two of them locked eyes and Ians crying now, they both are sitting on the exam table crying when the doctor comes in with a solemn look on his face.  
“Well Mr. Milkovich, I think it’s safe to assume that you’re aware of what’s going on here. Unfortunately after looking at your CT scan, I have some very unfortunate news.”  
Ian bit back tears as he grabbed Mickeys non-bloodied hand and squeezed it.  
Mickey closed his eyes and braced himself for the worst news he would ever hear. 

“After looking at your CT scan, we have become aware of the presence of what appears to be lung cancer cells. In order to be sure of the stage and the state that you’re in we are going to have to perform a biopsy and send some tissue samples to the lab.”

Mickey felt like he was going to pass out, his entire face went white and he couldn’t speak. 

“I know this is a lot to take in at the moment” the doctor spoke as he could tell Mickey was at a loss for words. 

All Mickey could manage to say was “When?”  
The nurse finally spoke up “When can we do the biopsy?”  
Mickey nodded nervously, as he felt out of control of his body at the moment.  
“We can do it today if you’re up to it; we sedate you and make a small incision between your ribs.”  
Ian looked over at Mickey “We don’t have to do this today, you have to be up to it.”  
“I completely agree, the sooner the better however” the doctor interjected.  
“I’ll do it now” Mickey squeaked out as Ian leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. 

“You two can wait in here while we get the room ready” the nurse spoke softly as she walked out of the room and the doctor followed shortly after her, giving the two men a concerning smile. 

“I don’t want to die” Mickey sobbed as Ian held him against his chest.  
“You won’t. You’re strong” Ian hummed back in the liveliest tone he could pull at the time.  
“Even strong people die” Mickey breathily spoke out as he grabbed Ians shirt in the fists of his hands and sobbed.


	3. “I can’t fucking lose you”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey goes into surgery to get a biopsy done and Ian completely breaks down.

After about fifteen minutes, the nurse came and got Mickey who was dressed in a new hospital gown.  
Kissing Ian goodbye before being wheeled away was the hardest thing to do in a moment like this.

Ian tried to be strong in front of Mickey but when he was taken to surgery, Ian walked to the car, shut the door and screamed.  
Ian couldn’t help but be angry with God or whoever was up there “what the fuck, not Mickey. MY MICKEY” Ian was screaming and crying and he didn’t care who saw or heard.   
Ian practically had snot dripping down his entire face and his knuckles were bloody from punching the steering wheel when he got a call from a nurse saying Mickey was in recovery now and that he could go see him.  
Ian looked in the rearview mirror at his face and wiped the snot off his nose and hopped out of the car.   
He knew he looked awful, his eyes were swollen, his face was slightly pink from crying and he was constantly sniffling but all he cared about was seeing Mickey. 

Walking through the doors made Ian sick to his stomach knowing this was about to become his second home with Mickey.  
Ian walked into the room that he was directed too and saw Mickey sleeping.  
Luckily, he looked peaceful, not in pain one bit, which calmed Ian for what felt like half a second.   
“He’ll be awake shortly, he’s still sleeping from the sedation hun” a nurse smiled as she left the two to be alone in the room. 

Ian pulled a chair up to Mickeys bedside and grabbed his hand as he rubbed the tops of his hand with his thumb Ian couldn’t help but start crying.   
“I can’t fucking lose you” Ian whispered, thinking Mickey was still asleep.  
Mickey had slightly woken up but wouldn’t admit that he heard that, he didn’t want to believe that he could die from this. 

After a few more minutes Mickey opened his eyes and smiled at Ian.  
Mickey spoke sleepily “hey there.”  
Ian chuckled at the simplicity of Mickeys greeting after all that had gone on within the past two hours.   
“I want to go home” Mickey whimpered back sadly as he rubbed his eyes to cover the tears that wanted to flow out.   
“Let me see if we can go home” Ian pecked Mickey on the forehead before he got up from the chair to look for a nurse.

As Ian spoke to the nurse about Mickey all that was going on in his head was “I know it’s killing Mickey to be the vulnerable one for once” and Ian couldn’t help but feel sad about that. He knew Mickey was going to need him now more than ever. 

When the nurse walked back into the room she explained that the biopsy could take a few days to come back and from there is when they would decide what was going to happen.  
Mickey seemed to understand and react pretty well considering Ian was constantly trying not to explode into a puddle of tears. 

After a short while, and some paperwork/discharge instructions later, the two were headed back to their home in which they obviously shared together.   
On the way home Mickey fell asleep with his head against the window, and Ian drove with one hand as he held Mickeys hand with the other.


	4. The Results

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian catches Mickey doing something he shouldn't be doing and the biopsy results also come in.

After that day at the hospital, Mickey and Ian had grown even closer to each other than before.  
The pair had both taken time off of work to get everything straightened out and figure out what their next move would be. Mickey wasn’t ready to tell his place of work the situation yet, not until the results of the biopsy came back and Ian just said he had a family emergency. 

It had been a few days since the biopsy had been taken when Ian rolled over in bed and realized Mickey wasn’t lying next to him like he usually was.  
Ian stumbled out of bed as he went throughout the house calling Mickeys name.  
Ian heard fumbling on the porch before Mickey quickly hopped back inside and slammed the door; nervously Mickey smiling “good morning.”  
Ian looked at Mickey up and down eyeing his suspiciously “What were you doing out there?”  
Mickey looked around the room as he was quickly trying to come up with a lie, “a man can’t enjoy the sunrise?”  
Ian recognized Mickeys nervous tone and walked toward him.  
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me Mick” Ian called out as he could smell the cigarette fumes coming off of Mickeys body.  
“You’re killing yourself” Ian cried out, tears in his eyes as he grabbed the now very obvious cigarettes and lighter out of Mickeys hand.  
Mickey suddenly got defensive as he hollered back at Ian in a condescending tone “NEWSFLASH GENUIS, I’M ALREADY FUCKING DYING.” 

Ian froze, his body felt unable to move as the words Mickey had just said kept replaying in his head.  
Mickey however, was already halfway out of the room when he heard Ian speak.  
“You think nobody cares about you, and nobody loves you but I do” Ian whispered as he tightly shut his eyes to stop the tears from flowing.  
Mickey heard every word that came out of Ian’s mouth but somehow all he could manage to respond was the word “what?” 

Ian finally felt some sort of life flow back into him as he turned to face Mickey.  
“I understand that you’re sick Mickey, but you have no idea how this affects me too” Ian sounded angry which slightly threw Mickey off.  
“Excuse the fuck out of me for having cancer” Mickey said in a defensive tone as he limped into the bed room, body still sore from slipping in the shower and the incision. 

Ian quickly followed Mickey into the bedroom and sat next to him on the bed.  
“I’m not angry at you for having cancer. I’m angry at you for not realizing how much your life means to me. I love you and I want you to fight” Ian pleaded as he was trying to keep it together.  
Mickey avoided eye contact with Ian before speaking “What if I don’t want to fight?”  
Ian was completely caught off guard and hurt when the phone rang. 

“I can’t fucking believe you would say that” Ian whispered as he wiped his tears away and went to answer the phone.

Ian tried to adjust his voice to sound like he wasn’t crying “Hello?”  
“Hello, this is Nurse Stratford may I speak with Mickey Milkovich?”  
“One second” Ian sniffed as he went back into the bedroom.  
“Results are in” Ian bit back tears as he gave Mickey the phone and left the room. 

Mickeys eyes widened as he realized he was about to learn just how bad things were.  
“Hello, this is Mickey.”  
“Hello, Mr. Milkovich this is Nurse Stratford and I was calling to discuss the results of your tissue biopsy do you have a moment to go over this information with me?”  
“Yes” Mickey responded simply, trying not to projectile vomit everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case I get questions on this I figured I would answer this now.  
> "Why was Mickey smoking knowing he has cancer?"  
> Well, a lot of the time even if people find out they have lung cancer, that doesn't magically get rid of their addiction to cigarettes. I've seen it first hand in my actual real life, I want this fic to be very REAL. I want you as readers to feel the pain of each character and how their lives (both Mickey and Ian) are about to change. Mickeys been smoking for years, it's not just something that you can put down and quit right away.


	5. Stage...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey finds out what stage he's in.

“Stage two” played over and over in Mickeys head as he left the room to search for Ian.   
Mickey didn’t have to search very far, he turned the corner to the hallway and saw Ian sitting on the floor with his knees up to his chest crying.  
“Hey” Mickey mumbled as Ian peeked up at him.   
Ian hopped up from the floor as he wrapped his long arms around Mickeys neck, “I’m sorry, I’m just so worried about you.”  
Mickey squeezed Ian back before pulling him away from him to look him in the eyes “stage two.” 

 

Ian looked confused at how normal Mickey was being “What does that mean?”   
“Well, she said as far as she can tell, I only have the lung cancer in one lung and it hasn’t reached my lymph nodes just yet, but to be sure we have to start the process pretty quickly.”

Ian was still confused “Why do you seem so okay with that?”  
“Let’s go lay down, my body aches like a mother fucker” Mickey slightly smiled as the two walked back into the bedroom, Ian supporting Mickey as they walked. 

“You need to start using the cane I got you” Ian scolded as they reached the doorway to the bedroom.   
“Canes are for old people” Mickey bit back as he slowly got into bed.   
“Not true” Ian rolled his eyes as he climbed into bed beside his lover.   
Mickey grabbed Ian’s hands and played with them while he spoke “Well, when I was being wheeled back to surgery I was asking the nurse all kinds of questions. She told me that stage one and two were the ideal situation and I just barely missed stage three.”  
Ians eyes widened “What do you mean?”  
“They want me to start chemotherapy tomorrow just to be sure” Mickey mumbled as he played with Ian’s fingers.   
Ian looked surprised as he nuzzled his face into Mickeys neck “and you’re sure about that?”   
“I don’t have much of a choice” Mickey shrugged.   
“Hey Ian” Mickey looked over at Ian.  
Ian knew Mickey very rarely called him his real name so he looked over at him sympathetically “yeah?”  
“I’m sorry about what I said earlier. Of course I’ll fight” Mickey kissed Ian on the forehead to show that he was being serious.

“I know Mick, you’re a Milkovich. Fighting is in your blood” Ian teased as he gave Mickey a quick peck on the lips.   
Mickey smiled before turning over and looking Ian in the eyes, as Mickey pushed a piece of red hair out of Ians face he said “Can I be honest with you?”  
Ian nodded before speaking out the word “Always.”  
“I’m actually terrified” Mickey quickly responded.  
“That’s normal Mick, I am too” Ian sighed.   
Ian inched closer to Mickey and held him “I’ll be here every step of the way, I promise. But you have to promise me you’ll quit smoking.”   
“The nurse told me that the side effects of the chemotherapy will be worse if I continue, but I don’t know how to stop” Mickey responded sounding slightly nervous.   
Ian laid next to Mickey in deep thought for a few moments before responding “maybe we can ask if you can use like one of those nicotine patches while you do chemo?”   
Mickey nodded as the thought of chemotherapy and nicotine patches made him slightly nauseous. 

Ian could see Mickey was overwhelmed so he stopped talking and played with his hair.   
Mickey sighed “You know that’s going to be gone soon right?”  
Ian just ignored Mickey as he played with his hair and smiled, he would enjoy it while it lasted.


	6. CHEMO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey prepares for his first round of chemotherapy.

Neither Mickey nor Ian could sleep very much the night before Mickey started chemotherapy.  
The pair tossed and turned all night until they eventually just talked until the sun rose for the day.

When it was finally time to leave for the day Mickey seemed off, but Ian tried not to draw attention to it knowing Mickey would open up if he felt like it.  
“Do you have everything before we leave?”  
Mickey felt around in his sweat pants pockets before nodding, “they basically said, eat and drink and wear comfortable clothes so I guess we’re good.”  
Ian nodded as the pair got into the car and started driving toward the hospital.  
“I think it’s weird that the doctor’s office, hospital and the treatment center are all in the same little parking lot” Ian tried his hardest to make small talk with a rather nervous looking Mickey.  
“Convenient though” Mickey shrugged as he picked at the loose skin around his nails. 

As the two men got out of the car Mickey looked over at Ian with sad eyes, “you know you don’t have to come right?”  
Ian looked a little caught off guard, slightly hurt as well.  
“Why wouldn’t I want to come Mick?”  
“You’re going to have to see me get poked with an IV and poison pumped through me to get rid of another fucking poison” Mickey bit back, obviously bitter over the situation.  
Ian walked over to Mickey and brushed his shaggy hair out of his face and placed a soft kiss on his lips, spit dribbling away as they separated. “I love you” Ian spoke sweetly. Mickey nodded before the two made their way to the treatment center doors. 

Mickey signed himself in as Ian sat down and flipped through a magazine, trying his hardest to hide his anxiety about the entire situation.  
Mickeys ass was nearly hovering above his seat when his name was called and he was already being ushered down the hall into a small private room.  
Déjà vu ensued and Mickey remembered how just days ago he was sitting in a small room being told he had cancer, Mickey bit back the lump in his throat and tried to make small talk with Ian.  
Mickey looked over at Ian and smirked “still gunna love me when I’m puking my brains out?”  
Ian knew Mickey was trying to make light of the situation, so he just rolled with it.  
“As opposed to any other Saturday night? Of course” Ian let out a fake laugh.

All Mickey could think about was how different his life was going to be. He was worried Ian wouldn’t be able to handle it, he had heard of people’s spouses not being able to handle the diagnosis and leaving them. The last thing Mickey wanted was to be sick and alone. Mickey was in the middle of his thought when two people he had never seen before walked into the room.

The first person spoke “Hello Mr.Milkovich, I’m Doctor Sanders, sorry that we have to meet under these circumstances” the man shook hands with Mickey and continued to speak.  
“I’m your medical oncologist. I’ll be working with a team of professionals here to make sure we develop a good treatment plan for you.”  
Ian decided this was a good time to insert himself into the conversation “Hello, I’m Ian. Mickeys husband” Ian shook hands with the doctor quickly before continuing to speak “are you in charge of his chemotherapy and how much and when it’s administered?”  
Mickey raised a brow, “someone did their research” he thought to himself, grinning at how smart Ian sounded using a word like “administered.” 

Doctor Sanders seemed to be pleased with Ian as he answered his question without missing a beat, “that is correct, very nice to meet you. Again, wish it was different circumstances but we will get your husband all taken care of.”  
Ian smiled solemnly as he looked down at the floor.

“And I am Vanessa, I’ll be your oncology nurse, I’ll be giving you the chemotherapy as well as helping you manage any side effects and answer any of your questions” she shook both Mickey and Ians hands before flashing a warm smile.  
Mickey liked her already, she seemed to know her stuff, and he needed someone confident in their job. 

Doctor Sanders left the room as Nurse Vanessa checked Mickeys blood pressure.  
“Okay, after your blood pressure I need to check your pulse, temperature and breathing alright?”  
“Alright” was all Mickey responded, trying his best to be comfortable with his personal space being invaded, he needed to get used to that. 

After that was over, Mickey stepped on the scale and had his height and weight taken as well.  
“Good, just have a seat and I’ll be right with you” Vanessa bubbly spoke before leaving the room.  
“She’s pretty cheery for someone who probably witnesses death all day” Mickey spoke as soon as Vanessa was out of sight.  
“MICK” Ian scolded seeming shocked at what came out of Mickeys mouth.  
Mickey shrugged before Vanessa appeared back into the room. 

“Looks like you’re ready to go, Doctor Sanders gave me the OK, are you alright if we start?”  
Mickey nodded as he tried not to think about what was about to happen, before he knew it he looked down and saw a freckled handed tightly squeezing his.  
Ian was already at his side and ready to go, just as Mickey expected.


	7. The long road ahead.

Chemotherapy wasn’t anything like Mickey expected. He expected the medicine to take over his body and burn; maybe his blood would be hot. However, once the IV was inserted Mickey felt a wave of relief. 

Vanessa smiled as she saw Mickey loosen up “Not so bad right?”  
Mickey joked “The cancer or the chemo?”  
Vanessa not being used to the Milkovich style humor just awkwardly laughed as she jotted notes down in Mickeys chart. 

As the medicine pumped through Mickeys blood stream Ian asked all the right questions.  
“So what will be the side effects of this treatment? Just so we’re prepared” Ian wiped the sweat dripping off his forehead as he watched Mickey fight to stay awake. 

“Well, to be honest with you it all just depends on how Mickeys body reacts. There are several effects to chemotherapy, but being as though this is his first session, I don’t see much happening” Vanessa got up to check Mickeys IV before continuing.  
“It could be a range of anything really, fatigue, easy bruising, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, mouth sores and of course hair loss.”  
Mickey looked over at Vanessa and slightly chucked “Oh is that it?”   
Ian rolled his eyes at Mickey before speaking to Vanessa “he’s just trying to be Mr. Funny guy over here, sorry about that.”   
Vanessa playfully responded “Oh no! Don’t be sorry. It’s better to have a sense of humor than not, don’t ya think?”   
“Exactly” Mickey shrugged as he smiled at Ian. 

Mickey and Ian made small conversation as the chemo pumped through Mickeys body, Ian occasionally rubbing Mickeys back or holding his hand.   
Mickey had grown semi-used to Ian being affectionate, and he was trying his best even still to roll with it, but he understood Ian was just trying to be comforted. 

When the chemotherapy was over and they rode home the pair made small conversation, Ian didn’t want to annoy Mickey with how worried he was so he tried his best to keep everything as normal as possible. 

When Mickey and Ian got home they decided it would be best to take a nap, Ian ran his fingers through Mickeys hair until he heard Mickey snoring and then cuddled up with his warm body and fell asleep himself.

Ian knew the road ahead would be a very long and tiring one.


	8. “you’re leaving aren’t you?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this too much for Ian?

Weeks had gone by since Mickey started chemotherapy and he had just had his fifth session.  
Mickey was starting to feel sick and weak and as much as he was afraid to show it, the signs were very obvious. 

Mickeys hair was thinning, he was losing weight, he was always tired and worst of all, throwing up was now very common for him.   
Mickey couldn’t help but wonder why Ian stuck around, “who would love someone who’s dying?”   
Mickey constantly bombarded his brain with awful thoughts such as that, he was afraid that this was all too much for Ian, as sometimes he felt like it was too much for him. 

The pair had chosen not to share Mickeys diagnosis with the family, which was hard considering the Gallaghers were a close bunch.   
Mickey and Ian were constantly making excuses not to visit or go to family get-togethers.   
Mickey just didn’t want this to be a big deal, even though he knew it was.  
Ian obviously needed someone to talk to about the situation, someone who wasn’t Mickey but he didn’t want to share anything that Mickey didn’t want out there, so he respected Mickey and kept the news to himself.

However, Liam’s birthday party was this weekend and Mickey wasn’t able to go, being around kids would be too much of a risk, and he knew Ian was going to have to go alone, or worse tell the family what was actually going on. 

Ian had been acting odd the last week, he just seemed off and Mickey noticed but he never really had the chance to say anything, Mickey slept most days and threw up most nights as Ian rubbed his back sleepily or woke him to force him to eat a little something  
. Ian seemed disconnected, distant and emotional, and Mickey was finally awake and put together enough to have a conversation about it.   
“Ian” Mickey yelled out from the bedroom as Ian walked into the room in almost a blink of an eye “yeah Mick? You okay?”   
Ian was always worried about Mickey, he didn’t want him to be in any more pain than necessary.   
Mickey pat the bed and motioned for Ian to lay with him, Ian followed the gesture and jumped right into bed next to his lover. 

Ian scooted closer to Mickey before eyeing him and realizing Mickeys facial expression was a serious one “What’s going on?”  
Mickey raised his brow, in his usual fashion before responding “you tell me.”  
Ian looked confused; he shrugged at Mickey in confusion.   
“You’ve been acting weird all week, and I know you’ve been leaving the room once I fall asleep” Mickey said accusatorily.   
Ian looked surprised, “if you’re asleep, how do you know that?”  
Mickey looked annoyed as he rubbed his temples “I wake up and you’re gone, now answer me, what gives asshole?”  
Ian looked hurt by Mickeys name calling, which was weird considering they’ve always spoken to each other in that way.   
Mickeys eyes began to water, “fuck” he mumbled to himself, “you’re leaving aren’t you?”

Ian practically flung his body onto Mickey which made Mickey slightly wince in pain.  
“FUCK NO, NO! That’s never going to happen” Ians voice was shaking and Mickey knew he was crying.   
Mickey looked down at Ian and saw big green eyes staring back at him filled with tears just as he suspected, and the only thing he thought to say was “talk to me then man.”  
Ian hugged Mickey tightly without squeezing him and Mickey hugged him back and kissed his forehead.   
Ian rolled off of Mickey and back to being beside him as he wiped his tears and started talking, “ I just feel helpless, like if I could switch positions with you I would” Ians voice was shaking as he was trying not to cry. 

Mickey looked over at Ian who was having trouble speaking anymore, as he watched Ians lip quiver, his heart hurt because he knew Ian would really do that if he could.   
Before Mickey could speak Ian choked out something else, “I just feel bad for crying because I’m trying to be strong for you, but I’m so fucking scared Mick.”   
Ian lost it as he started crying right next to Mickey and put his arm around his neck to pull him in; Mickey nuzzled into Ians long arms. He wanted to cry too, he felt kind of guilty for being sick because he knew this was hard on Ian too. 

Ian couldn’t help but breathe heavily as he sobbed, he wanted to say more but he just couldn’t find the words.   
Mickey pulled away from Ian so that he could see his face; he put his hand under Ians chin and positioned him to look at him, however Ian had his eyes tightly shut trying not to cry anymore.   
Mickey knew Ian needed an outlet for this situation, so he decided he’d allow Ian to have that.  
“Hey look at me.”  
Ian opened his bloodshot eyes to see Mickey looking directly into his eyes.  
“I want you to tell the family” Mickey projected to the room.  
Ian nodded as he wrapped his arms around Mickeys neck and hugged him again, he just wanted to feel Mickeys warmth, he wanted to feel safe again.


	9. "Mickey has cancer."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian goes to Liam's birthday party and tells everyone that Mickey has cancer.

It was the day of Liams birthday party and Ian was nervous about leaving Mickey at home alone for a few hours. Ever since the diagnosis Ian took a paid leave from work, considering he had worked there years without any type of vacation, they didn’t mind.  
Ian grabbed his car keys before walking back into the bedroom “are you sure? I can just stay here.”  
Mickey scoffed, “just go, I’ll survive a few hours without you.”  
Ian nodded before walking away from the doorway, “I love you.”  
Mickey smiled, “I love you too, tell Liam happy birthday for me.”  
“Will do” Ian called out before grabbing the gift off the coffee table and walking out of the door.

On the drive over Ian kept playing over and over in his head what he was going to say to his family, he could already see the shocked and hurt looks on their faces and that made his stomach knot up. He had been avoiding his family for weeks and making excuses up to not see them and now he could finally tell them why. 

When he pulled up to the house, he heard “IANS HERE” coming from Debbie who was alerting just about everyone else.  
Ian got out of the car and waved awkwardly before walking to the yard he used to call “home.”  
It was nice for everyone to be there, but he really wished Mickey was here too. 

“Hey” Ian greeted everyone as he gave hugs and looked for Liam who was off in the distance talking with some friends from school.  
Ian waved and Liam came over to greet Ian and give him a hug, “happy birthday” Ian said as he handed Liam his gift.  
Once Liam left to go back to his friends Fiona eyed Ian up and down and realized how exhausted he looked and silently gestured to Lip. 

“Hey, where’s the Mrs.” Lip joked taking notice that Ian looked a bit distressed.  
Ians hands were shaking as he was trying to figure out what he was about to say, “Well that’s the thing” Ian hesitated which sent everyone into a look of worry.  
Debbie shot out “Is Mickey okay?” Debbie and Mickey were always pretty close.  
“Uhmmm” Ian scratched his head as his lip trembled.  
Fiona snapped her fingers and gestured for Carl to pull up a chair for Ian.  
Once everyone was sitting down Fiona sat in front of Ian and grabbed his hands that were shakily sitting in his lap as he still tried to find the right words.  
“You can tell us anything, you know that” Fiona nodded reassuring what Ian already knew. 

Ian gulped before looking up at his family who were all staring back at him with big worried eyes.  
“Mickey has cancer” Ian spoke softly, trying to keep his emotions in check.  
For a brief moment, nobody said a word, it was as if nobody was breathing either, just eerie silence.  
“Ian, I’m sorry” Fiona blurted out as she rushed to give Ian a hug.  
The rest of the Gallaghers piled on top of Fiona to hug Ian as he sobbed inside the cocoon of Gallaghers, realizing he had never really said those words out loud before. 

Liam was distracted by his friends, so luckily he didn’t have to partake in the heartbreak that everyone else was feeling, especially on his special day.  
Frank walked into the party late of course, holding a beer and obviously confused by the sharp looks and sad eyes.  
Frank walked up to the group “who died?”  
“Not now Frank” Debbie scolded as she silently motioned to Ian who was trying to keep it together. 

Frank walked over to Fiona and gave her a concerned look, she shot back at Ian for approval and he nodded.  
“Mickeys really sick Frank” Fiona said sternly, as if to silently say “don’t be an asshole.”  
Frank looked surprised, “get him some soup” Frank shrugged off before taking a sip of his beer.  
“Cancer” Lip mumbled before Frank got wide eyed, “oh shit, what stage?”

Frank asked a question nobody had even gotten the chance to ask Ian yet so everyone was waiting for an answer.  
Ian cleared his throat before looking up at everybody “stage two; we’ve been doing Chemo for about a month or like five weeks now.”  
The surprised looks on everyone’s face increased as Ian shared that information.  
Frank was suddenly nowhere to be found and nobody was surprised.

Debbie broke the silence “He didn’t want anybody to know?”  
Ian nodded and Debbie went in for another hug as she rubbed Ians back.  
“It’ll be okay, Mickeys a fighter” Debbie reassured as Ian smiled back at her. 

Lip felt a sense of sadness for his brother, it was indescribable, he couldn’t imagine loving someone you could lose in that way.  
Lip wanted to help in any way that he could “Is there anything we can do?”  
Fiona nodded in agreement as Carl followed suit.  
“I just need your emotional support, I guess” Ian shrugged.  
“We can do that” Fiona reassured as she smiled sympathetically at her brother.  
“He’s just so strong about literally everything ya know? And I cry every night, I literally leave the room once he falls asleep and I bawl in the living room, it’s fucking pathetic” Ian scoffed as he tried to shrug off the emotions, trying not to cry at that very moment. 

“That’s the Milkovich nature though, he’s probably emotional behind closed doors too” Lip shared having known Mandy for so long as well.  
Ian nodded in agreement, he knew that was probably true.

Suddenly Frank came out of the house, he had what looked like books in his hands as he walked down the back porch stairs and back toward Ian.  
“These were some books we had for Grammy” Frank handed Ian some books and pamphlets they had on cancer. 

Fiona and Lip looked over at each other impressed by Frank even caring THAT much. 

“Thanks Frank” Ian smiled as he got up to leave, “I got to get going, tell Liam I said bye alright?” 

Everyone gave Ian hugs goodbye before they watched him drive away, they were all in shock and felt so bad for Ian, they knew how much he and Mickey loved one another.


	10. Bubble Boy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam really wants to visit Mickey...

It was the day after Liams birthday and the news was shared with him, Liam was heartbroken and really wanted to see Mickey but Mickey had to be extra cautious. Liam was scared that Mickey was going to die, and that he might not ever get to see him again. Both Ian and Mickey were heartbroken that he felt that way. 

Mickey watched Ian move around the room before he said “Maybe I can wear one of those masks or he can wear one?”  
Ian was annoyed, he had already told Mickey no, he didn’t want to risk Mickey getting even more sick. Ian shook his head as he continued to fold laundry, Mickey looking up at him from the couch with a frustrated look on his face.   
“Come on man, I’m like bubble boy in here ” Mickey argued, “I’m bored Ian.”  
Ian angrily threw the clothes into the laundry basket to haul to the room, before he turned around to leave the room he turned to Mickey with narrow eyes, “you’re sick.” 

Mickey was beginning to grow annoyed at how motherly Ian was being, “yeah the constant vomiting didn’t tip me off” Mickey shouted back as he slowly got up from the couch and went outside, slamming the front door to make a point. 

“UGGGHHH” Ian groaned from inside the house and he shoved clothes into drawers.  
Ian thought to himself “Why does he have to be so stubborn?”  
When Ian was done in the bedroom he saw Mickey sitting on the porch shivering, and worry instantly ensued.   
Ian walked over and sat down next to Mickey while rubbing his shoulders “you’re going to get sicker if you don’t come inside.”   
“Stop worrying about me for at least one second and remember I’m still me” Mickey barked back obviously feeling overwhelmed and annoyed.   
Ian just nodded and took that as a hint to shut up, he just worried about Mickey so much.

A few minutes had past and Ian finally spoke.  
“Fine” Ian said bluntly as Mickey turned to him with a questionable look on his face.  
“Fine what?”  
Ian stood up as he looked down at Mickey “I’ll call Fiona and let her know they can come.”   
Mickey smiled as he grabbed Ian’s extended arm and walked inside with him. 

Once the two were inside Ian called Fiona and explained that everyone had to wash their hands and that Ian would have masks to wear and the whole nine yards, Fiona understood and was excited to tell Liam the news. 

 

-THE NEXT DAY-

Mickey had hardly gotten any sleep, he was excited to see the Gallagher family and he knew Liam would be less scared once he saw him.  
Ian had hardly slept because he was up all night worrying, however he’d never admit that to Mickey. 

Mickey didn’t look great but he didn’t look horrible considering he had cancer.  
His hair was thinning, his body was thinning and he had bags under his eyes but he hid it well, and he was going to try his best to be convincing to the family that he was alright. 

When Ian heard a knock on the door he wanted to throw up, all he thought to himself was “its go time” but the smile of excitement on Mickeys face made everything worth it.  
Ian opened the door and made his family wear masks and directed them to wash their hands before touching anything or anybody.  
Mickey just rolled his eyes, which made Fiona laugh because she knew Mickey thought Ian was being overdramatic and she did too.

When Liam saw Mickey he waved excitedly, he didn’t look scared which made Mickey feel relieved.   
Once everyone had washed up to their elbows they joined Ian and Mickey in the living room and made small talk.  
Eventually Liam sat next to Mickey on the couch and asked him questions about his cancer, nothing too harsh just curious questions.  
Considering Mickey wasn’t too good with his words he handed all the intense conversation from the adult Gallaghers well and Liams questions too.

Debbie had been quite most of the time until she finally spoke “Whens the next round?”  
“Debs” Fiona scolded as she looked at her in shock.  
Debbie shrugged and waited for an answer, as her eyes shifted between both Ian and Mickey.   
“It’s okay Fiona” Mickey assured her as he continued speaking “tomorrow actually.” 

The room got really quite and everyone had a sad look in their eyes, and they decided that it was time to go before it got really overly emotional.

Fiona kissed the top of Mickeys head before leaving, “you’ve got this and we love you” her voice cracked, despite how much she was trying to keep it together.

Mickey wanted to cry as he hugged Liam goodbye and waved to everyone, not wanting to admit how exhausted he was, he was relieved when Ian suggested they go lay down in bed.

Mickey didn’t like feeling like he was being pitied but there wasn’t much he could do about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I don't have much of a chance to write during the week, please continue to read and leave me feedback! I appreciate it.


	11. "And I don't want to die"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey has a big scare...

Mickey had endured another round of chemotherapy and this time he really felt out of it.

When Ian and Mickey went home, Mickey wouldn’t stop throwing up.   
Mickey was wrapped around the toilet bowl with mucus dripping down his face and his complexion was paler than usual.  
“Mick, I think we should go to the hospital” Ian said in a weary voice as he paced back and forth throughout the hallway by the bathroom.  
“Fuck that” Mickey whined before he dry heaved over the toilet once more.

“Drink this” Ian handed Mickey a bottle of water and flushed the toilet for him.  
Mickey chugged the water hoping it was ease his stomach.   
“This is out of control” Ian whispered to himself as he tried not to freak out for Mickeys sake.   
Suddenly, all the water Mickey just drank was pouring out of him as he hugged the toilet bowl once more.  
“No Mickey fuck this, we are going” Ian hollered as he ran to the bedroom to pack a bag.

Mickey was trying his best not to cry, he wiped his eyes, which were wet anyway from dry heaving.  
Mickey could hear Ian running throughout the house in a panic, which made his stomach turn even more, suddenly he felt very light headed and he had to grab onto the toilet for a sense of gravity.

After a few minutes, but what felt like hours Ian came rushing into the bathroom and helped Mickey up off the floor.

Once the two were in the car, Ian handed Mickey a bucket to puke in and sped to the hospital.  
Once they were inside Ian explained what was going on and Mickey was rushed to the back immediately, Ian could see the fear in Mickeys eyes, which was unusual considering how strong Mickey had been during all of this. 

Ian knew Mickey was going to be okay but he just felt so bad that he had to go through all of this, especially because everything had been pretty smooth sailing up until now. 

Once Mickey was stable and had some fluids in him, he fell asleep and Ian was relieved to see the look of peace on Mickeys face. 

Ian looked over all of Mickeys features, and realized that they were slowly disappearing.   
Ian realized Mickey had bald patches, his eyes were sinking and his skin was dry and sad looking.  
Ian didn’t love Mickey any less; he was just shocked by all that he hadn’t noticed and started to cry.  
Ian left the room so that Mickey wouldn’t wake up. 

Ian was in the hallway when a nurse spotted him and walked over looking concerned.  
“Hey, how’s it going? Everything alright?”  
Ian nodded through the tears and the nurse went to check on Mickey. 

When Ian finally made his way back in the room Mickey was slightly awake, “hey” Mickey said sleepily, obviously still under the meds.   
“Hey” Ian responded before kissing the top of Mickeys head.  
Mickey realized Ian had been crying and became a little more alert “scared you huh?”  
Ians voice was trembling but he managed to squeak out “I don’t want to lose you” before completely sobbing on Mickeys chest. 

“And I don’t want to die” Mickey said sadly before starting to cry himself.


	12. The Scan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey has to get a scan to see if his cancer cells are growing and spreading or if he can have surgery to recover....

The next day wasn’t any easier for Mickey and Ian, if anything it was scarier than before.  
Mickey was getting a screening to see if the cancer cells were getting smaller or spreading, both boys felt like they were going to throw up for anxiousness. 

“Call them Ian” Mickey said sternly as Ian was rubbing his thumb over the top of Mickeys boney knuckles.   
Ian looked up at Mickey almost lifeless, “what?”  
“You need someone here with you, I’m worried about you” Mickey responded in the same tone as before, obviously not in the mood to argue but stating what Ian should be doing.  
“Okay” Ian said in a sad voice as he stood up to go make a call in the hospital hallway.  
As Ian left the room he heard Mickey coughing, it made him wince, he felt so bad for him.

As the phone rang Ian felt a lump in his throat, he hated having to ask for support.  
Lip answered shortly, “Hey man, everything okay?”  
Ians lips trembled as he held back the tears, “I need you guys to come to the hospital.”  
Ian heard a crash on the other side of the phone, Lip had probably dropped whatever he was doing, “we’re coming” Lip exclaimed from the other side of the phone before hanging up. 

When Ian walked back in the room, Mickey was getting prepped to leave and Ian could feel his heart sinking in his chest.   
Mickey peeked through the nurses helping him at Ian, “they coming?”  
Ian nodded, trying not to show Mickey how distraught this entire situation was making him. 

The nurses turned to Ian who was pale and scared looking, one of them finally addressed him   
“You two want a minute before we take him?”  
Ian nodded and walked toward Mickey as the rest of the room waited outside, “I love you, this will be good news Mick, I can feel it.”   
Ian wasn’t 100% confident with that fact but he had read that he needed to be positive and help Mickey during this process so he was trying his best to be strong for him.   
‘C’mere” Mickey signaled for Ian to bend down over the bed and he gave him a long kiss, “I’ll be alright.”   
Ian nodded and Mickey smiled, “I love you too.”  
Ian weakly smiled back before squeezing Mickeys hand softly.  
Then Ian went to get the nurses and tell them they were ready for Mickeys scan.

After the two said their goodbyes Ian waited in the waiting room, flipping through an old magazine and bouncing his legs up and down. Ian kept looking toward the sliding glass doors for his family when suddenly he saw them dog pile inside the hospital.

Every single member of the Gallagher family was there, even Frank which surprised Ian.   
Fiona, Debbie and Liam all looked like they had been crying and Lip and Carl looked worried.  
Finally Carl spoke “Well?”  
Ian explained what had been going on as everyone sat down with him and waited for the results.

After everything had been explained and everyone was making small talk Debbie took a good look at Ian “Are you hungry Ian? When’s the last time you ate?”   
Ian shrugged as he rubbed his temples, obviously exhausted.  
Lip had noticed how awful Ian looked but he didn’t want to be the one to point it out, so he was grateful when Debbie said something.   
“Liam and I are going to get you some food” Debbie stood up and her and Liam walked to the hospital cafeteria. 

Ian was so grateful his family was there with him but couldn’t stop thinking about Mickey being alone and afraid.  
Fiona hugged Ian and let him lay on her shoulder; she was always motherly like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be emotional....


	13. Sorry for your loss...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I warned you that this chapter would be emotional...  
> READ UNTIL THE END.

“We did all we could to revive him. We are so sorry for your loss” replayed over and over in Ians head. The panic attack and the looks on their faces replaying like a movie, over and over again. Ian didn’t want it to be real but Mickey was gone.

Ian walked into the funeral home trying to keep it together; he knew that’s what Mickey would have wanted.

Ian was a mess, he was manic, his hair was a mess, he was skin and bones but worst of all he was broken inside.  
Soon after Ian entered the building he was greeted by an old man who told him that he was sorry for his loss, honestly Ian barely acknowledged the man’s existence as everything felt like he was underwater, he was literally drowning on earth, an earth without Mickey Milkovich. 

The man took Ian in a room full of different caskets; the entire thing was so surreal.  
Ian never thought this was how everything would turn out, Mickey was a fighter, he had fought his entire life and then cancer comes along and takes him, it wasn’t fair. 

Ian walked through the room, with his heart in his stomach, he just wanted to crawl in a casket and be buried with Mickey.  
Ian walked over to a beautiful mahogany casket and cried on top of it, “this is where Mickey will sleep forever” Ian thought to himself before picking himself up and pointing to the casket with tears in his eyes. 

Next a woman led Ian to a room with different style tuxedos, Mickey had to go out in style, that’s what he would’ve wanted or at least that’s what Ian was convincing himself. The idea of dressing your dead husband was so morbid to Ian but nonetheless he walked over to a light blue tuxedo knowing Mickey would look good in that color, he pulled it off the rack and handed it to the woman with big brown sad eyes, Ian couldn’t stand the way people looked at him now. 

Ian excused himself and stepped outside the funeral home, he was having a panic attack. Something that seemed like a daily routine these days.  
Ian was screaming and crying when suddenly he was being shaken by someone.

 

“IAN WAKE UP. IT’S JUST A BAD DREAM” Debbie screamed as she shook Ians body awake.  
Ian had fallen asleep on Fiona in the hospital when he realized that he was dreaming.  
Ian wiped the tears off his face and popped up from the chair “WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS MICKEY?”

Suddenly two nurses were standing in front of Ian, they understood what he was going through, they just smiled “he’s alright, he just got out of the scan, would you like to see him?”  
Ian turned to his family and told them he wanted to go see Mickey alone really quick before they came in, they nodded as they sat back down.

Fiona gave a shaken up Debbie a hug, she was crying, she had never seen Ian cry like that before. 

When Ian walked into the room and saw Mickey lying down in his hospital bed Ian ran over and hugged him, he couldn’t stop crying.  
Mickey was shocked by Ians reaction to him, “babe what’s wrong?”  
Ian could barely breathe, he was choking on his own spit from crying and was hyperventilating but he managed to say a couple of words, “dream… you.. You” and he lost it, he was crying on Mickeys chest.

“Hey look at me” Mickey grabbed Ians face and faced him toward him, wiping tears off of Ians freckled cheeks.  
Ians eyes were swollen and red, but he looked at Mickey still trying to gain composure.  
“I’m not going anywhere, I promise you that” Mickey smiled as Ians face looked confused.  
“You can’t promise something you have no control over” Ian spoke back, still trying to catch his breath. 

Finally a nurse interrupted the two as she walked in the room, “did you tell him the news yet Mr. Milkovich?”  
Ian looked over at Mickey with big eyes, “what news?”  
Mickey smiled as he was excited to tell Ian the good news, “I got approved for the surgery, and we’re getting the rest of this cancer out of me.”  
Ian hugged Mickey and kissed him over and over, before popping up from the bed “I’m going to go get everyone!”  
Mickey laughed as Ian shot out of the room, hoping that the surgery would actually get rid of everything but not trying to ruin the moment, Mickey decided he was going to stay positive because that’s what Ian wanted.


	14. Mickeys break down.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey finally has a bit of a break down when he realizes what's about to happen.

The days leading up to the surgery left Ian and Mickey nervous wrecks, the two were constantly trying to be distracted while making sure Mickey was in good shape for the surgery.  
Mickey was trying to be convincingly calm about the situation in order not to worry Ian but it was his life we are talking about here. 

Ian and Mickey worked hard to keep Mickey healthy, they didn’t want anything to go wrong with the surgery.

It was the night before the surgery when Mickey broke down, and Ian couldn’t help but notice.  
Mickey didn’t really talk that day, he just wanted to sleep and cry, however Ian pretended not to notice the crying part, Mickey appreciated that. 

It’s when Ian crawled into bed with Mickey and wrapped his long arms around his waist that Mickey completely lost it. Mickey was choking on his own spit and mucus, trying to catch his breath.   
Ian began rubbing his back, “breath baby, you’re going to pass out and we can’t have that. Breathe for me Mickey” Ian kissed the back of Mickeys neck as he continued to rub his back lovingly.  
“Tired of this shit” Mickey mumbled into Ians arm as he tried to calm himself down knowing Ian was right.   
Ian couldn’t find the words to say back but he understood where Mickey was coming from as he tried to keep it together himself.   
“Everything hurts” Mickey cried out, his voice was shaky, he had never reached this point of the process and Ian figured it was finally his breaking point. 

Ian got out of the bed and walked around to crouch down in front of Mickey.  
Ian moved a sweaty strand of hair away from Mickeys face as he saw him breakdown like he had never seen before.  
We are talking about a man who had been through literally everything finally breaking down over something, something that most people would’ve broken down over a very long time ago.

“Look at me” Ian whispered at Mickey who was struggling to see past his tears.   
Mickey looked up at Ian with big blue eyes, full of fear and Ian tried his best not to cry.  
“After tomorrow you’re going to be one step closer to recovery, we just have to get the tissue out” Ian smiled, trying his best to use a positive tone of voice.  
Mickey sniffed “What if something happens and it goes wrong?”  
“You can’t think like that” Ian reassured his husband.  
“We got so lucky Mick, you only have to get tissue removed and not a lobe” Ian spoke softly.  
“That’s what I’m afraid of” Mickey bit his lip out of nervous habit, “I’ve never been lucky, why now?” 

Before Ian could think of something to say Mickey pat the side of the bed that Ian usually slept on.  
“I just need you to cuddle me” Mickey whined.  
“That’s new” Ian let out a small chuckle and a look of surprise before sliding back into bed with Mickey.   
Mickey faced Ian, “we always cuddle asshole.”  
“Yeah but you never ask me to, or use the word “cuddle”” Ian said with air quotes.  
“Just shut up and c’mere” Mickey moaned before Ian grabbed him and held him close to his chest. 

“Tomorrows a big day” Mickey mumbled before closing his heavy eye lids.  
“Sure is” Ian said back before kissing the top of Mickeys head and falling asleep. 

 

When the next morning rolled around and it was time to go to the hospital Ian and Mickey were both really nervous. Mandy wasn’t able to make it out but she facetimed Mickey and told him she loved him and that everything would be okay, the pair grew closer after Ian and Mickey finally got married so Mickey really appreciated hearing that from his sister. 

They met the Gallaghers at the hospital who all gave Mickey hugs and their well wishes.   
When Mickey was finally ready to go into surgery he shared a quick kiss with Ian, even though that probably wasn’t a good idea, neither cared and just wanted this day to be over with. 

Ian tried his best to hold back the tears as Mickey got wheeled away, but when he turned back toward his family who all had heartbroken looks on their faces, he lost it.  
It was safe to say there was not one dry eye in that waiting area, as they waited for Mickeys lengthy surgery to be over.


	15. Out of Surgery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey makes it out of surgery and Ian is right by his side.

When the surgery was over and the anesthesia was finally wearing off Ian was allowed to go see him.  
As the red head entered the room he had to mentally prepare himself for the state that Mickey might be in.   
When Ian walked over to Mickey he wanted to cry, but he felt like that’s all he did during this entire process so he tried to hold back.   
Mickey looked groggy and pale, it was worse than the usual look of pain on his face, it was hard for Ian to see him like this.  
Mickey was connected to a ventilator to breathe, which honestly broke Ians heart even though he was already aware that would be the case.   
The ventilator acts as a way to help Mickey breathe until he can start doing exercises to clear his airway. 

Ian moved a chair closer to Mickeys bedside before putting his hand lightly on Mickeys hands, rubbing over his knuckle tattoos softly.  
“Babe, I’m here, you did good” Ian spoke in almost a whisper, he didn’t want to wake Mickey, he just wanted him to know he was there.   
“I love you so much” Ian whispered before sitting down in the chair. 

Ian waited patiently as Mickey scrunched his face, slowly waking up from the anesthesia.  
Ian got up and looked over the bed at Mickey, he just wanted to make sure he was okay.   
As he opened eye one to look around all that could come out of Mikey was “water” in a hoarse tone.   
“One second” Ian responded quickly as he pressed the button on the side of Mickeys bed for a nurse.

When a nurse walked in she checked all of Mickeys monitors before getting him some water.  
Finally the nurse turned to Ian “You’re the husband correct?”   
“yes mam” Ian smiled obviously still keeping his eye on Mickey for any sudden movements.   
“I’m nurse Joy, I’ll be taking care of Mickey tonight” the nurse smiled as she shook Ians hand.  
“So I know you were a little confused on what type of procedure we would be taking correct?”  
Ian nodded nervously, again eyes still shifting from Mickey to the nurse, “They didn’t know what the doctor was going to have in mind but they were hoping to do the video approach something like that?”

“Well luckily we were able to go ahead and proceed with the video assisted approach so the recovery time inpatient is a lot less” the nurse smiled as Ian let out a sigh of relief.   
“That’s really good to hear” Ian said as his voice shook, half from excitement and half from holding back the lump in his throat. 

Ian was almost afraid to ask but he did anyway, “So how long will he be in here for?”   
Nurse Joy smiled at Mickey who was now becoming aware of the situation at hand, “two days minimum and four days tops, depends on Mickey and the recovery process itself.”   
Mickey was still slightly out of it but was awake enough to form sentences “Can he sleep here?” 

The nurse let out a small laugh before responding “yes of course, I’ll go get you a blanket.”  
Ian smiled at the nurse as she left the room before heading back to Mickeys side. 

Ian kissed Mickey on the forehead; “I’m going to go tell everyone you’re alright.”   
“Wait” Mickey called out before Ian left the doorway.  
Ian turned around in a panic before running back over to Mickeys side “what? What’s the matter?”  
“don’t want to be alone” Mickey mumbled back sleepily.  
“I’ll wait for the nurse” Ian reassured as he rubbed his hand through Mickeys hair.

Mickey smiled knowing that Ian might have been right, maybe everything will be okay.


	16. ALL THE FUCKIN' B'S

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey can finally go home after surgery.

When Mickey was finally released from the hospital it had been six days since his surgery.  
Mickey had some complications and had to have another small surgery, so he spent a lot more time in the hospital.

When it was finally time for Mickey to come back home, the house felt foreign to him.  
“I feel like I haven’t been here in a really long time” Mickey sighed as he slowly sat down on a chair in the living room area.  
“I know, I’ve missed you” Ian smiled.  
“You couldn’t have possibly missed me here, you were always at the hospital unless you had to shower” Mickey slightly laughed.  
“Hey, it still felt lonely here in those times” Ian said defensively with a chuckle behind it.

Mickey smiled as he watched Ian sort through pots and pans to make breakfast for the two.  
“I’m glad you were by my side through everything” Mickey said quietly, but Ian heard.

Ian walked over to face Mickey from across the counter, “you’re my husband Mick” Ian reached out and fumbled with Mickeys hands on the counter.  
Mickey looked down and smiled, “yeah but not everyone is so lucky.”  
Ian looked over at Mickey inquisitively but before he could speak Mickey continued.  
“I was afraid the cancer would be too much for you, you’d spiral out of control and leave me alone to die” Mickey cleared his throat awkwardly after saying the last part. Ian wanted to cry, he held back the tears that flowed inside of his eyes.  
“I would never do that Mick” Ian breathily responded.  
“I know but you were brave, all the time and I just felt so weak” Mickey avoided eye contact, as he felt unsure of how Ian would respond.

Ian was surprised, surprised that Mickey felt that way.  
“Brave?”  
Ian walked over to sit beside Mickey, “I wasn’t brave Mick, you’re brave. You’re the one who fought that son of a bitch and won” Ian smiled trying to lighten the mood.  
“Not yet” Mickey reminded Ian.  
“Well almost, we just have to make sure your next scan looks good and continue getting checked every two years” Ian said as if it wasn’t a big deal.  
“For the rest of my life” Mickey mumbled and rolled his eyes.

Ian understood the frustration Mickey had about the entire situation, “better than chemo.”  
“better than chemo” Mickey mirrored back as Ian stood up from his chair to pour some coffee.  
Mickey watched Ian pour his coffee with a glisten in his eye he hadn’t seen in months, he felt good about it. He knew Ian was finally becoming himself again.

“Hey what’re those pills that’ll help my hair grow back?”  
“Biotin” Ian smiled as he slid a bottle over to Mickey.  
Mickey couldn’t help but smile, “of course you bought them already you nerd.”  
Ian smiled a dorky smile that told Mickey he was up to no good.  
“What did you do Gallagher?”  
Ian blushed as he bent down and grabbed a big white paper bag out of the cabinet and put it on the counter.

Mickey narrowed his eyes at Ian, figuring something was up he responded “Fuck is that?”  
Ian still very red in the face was slightly laughing when he said “At the time I couldn’t remember what “B” it was so I just got all the fuckin’ B’s.”  
Mickey let out a laugh, a genuine laugh for the first time in what felt like forever, “you’re a mess you know that?”  
"C'mere"  
Ian shrugged as he walked over to Mickey and placed a kiss on his lips, knowing for sure that they were going to grow old together and Mickey wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my series. Feedback is always appreciated. :)


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